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  <a href="/notes/blog/46632/what-the-hell-is-a-jigawatt">What the Hell is a Jigawatt?</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message"> From kindergarten through fourth grade, I was enrolled in a private Baptist school where my mother also taught. I always fared well academically, and when the school closed down and I had to start attending public school, my good grades carried over. <br><br>
Mom attributed much of my success, I think, to the fact that I hadn't had to slug it out in the trenches in the South Carolina public school system those first few formative years. There might be some truth in that.<br><br>
But I'm too much of a populist to believe… <span class="read-more pdf__hide"><a href="/notes/blog/46632/what-the-hell-is-a-jigawatt">Read more</a></span></div>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2009-09-02T14:02:58-07:00" title="September 02, 2009 14:02">09/02/2009</span></p>

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  <a href="/notes/blog/46633/top-three-lies-and-unsubstantiated-fantasies">Top Three Lies and Unsubstantiated Fantasies</a>&nbsp;
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<div class="post">
  <div class="message">1) It's nobody's fault. <br><br>
This, of course, is patently stupid. It's always somebody's fault. Or maybe it's everybody's fault. But it's never nobody's fault. Someone is to blame. In my experience, that person generally is either me or President Bush. But the fact is, someone must be held accountable. They made a whole democracy about that.<br><br>
2) It's not you, it's me.<br><br>
Rubbish. If you ever hear this line, it most certainly IS you, sucker.<br><br>
3) Smoking isn't cool.<br><br>
And there it is, dears. The granddaddy of them…<span class="read-more pdf__hide"><a href="/notes/blog/46633/top-three-lies-and-unsubstantiated-fantasies">Read more</a></span></div>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2009-09-02T14:01:19-07:00" title="September 02, 2009 14:01">09/02/2009</span></p>

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  <a href="/notes/blog/46637/sounds-like-a-country-song">Sounds Like a Country Song</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message">Three or four years ago, I got into a fight in Five Points. It left me with a bloody lip, an acquaintance with a bruised face, and my drummer with a few minutes of lost time after being knocked out cold (Poor Ronnie. Can't take him anywhere without him getting punched in the face).<br><br>
So yeah ... it's safe to say Team Kenley lost.<br><br>
There is nothing quite like getting beaten in a fight to remind you that you, sir (or madam), are alive. Nothing is quite so jolting, so visceral, so liberating. The punch (or in…<span class="read-more pdf__hide"><a href="/notes/blog/46637/sounds-like-a-country-song">Read more</a></span></div>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2009-09-02T13:59:50-07:00" title="September 02, 2009 13:59">09/02/2009</span></p>

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  <a href="/notes/blog/46636/all-dogs-go-to-heaven">All Dogs Go to Heaven</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message">“You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.” -- <i>Robert Louis Stevenson<br></i><br><br>
For canine lovers, the words “I’m not a dog person” are confounding. <br><br>
Yes, they’re hairy. Yes, they stink. No, they don’t speak English, so yes, they might eat your shoes.<br><br>
But in exchange, they offer something infinitely more valuable: their love and devotion--steadfast, unconditional and more rewarding than any pair of Jimmy Choos.<br><br>
That’s because a dog's sense of loyalty is stronger…<span class="read-more pdf__hide"><a href="/notes/blog/46636/all-dogs-go-to-heaven">Read more</a></span></div>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2009-09-02T13:56:50-07:00" title="September 02, 2009 13:56">09/02/2009</span></p>

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  <a href="/notes/blog/46635/i-was-a-blockbuster-video-clerk-for-halloween">I Was a Blockbuster Video Clerk for Halloween</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message"> And to anyone who isn't me, that costume must sound incredibly lame. Borderline idiotic, even. But in any case utterly and completely unscary.<br><br>
But to me, that Blockbuster uniform remains the most frightening costume I can conjure. It represents a low-water mark in my life, a point at which I had fallen so far from where I needed to be that I wasn't sure I was ever going to surface again. And the only reason I still cling to the outfit--the only reason I haven't burned the loud, yellow-and-blue polo shirt,… <span class="read-more pdf__hide"><a href="/notes/blog/46635/i-was-a-blockbuster-video-clerk-for-halloween">Read more</a></span></div>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2009-09-02T13:52:04-07:00" title="September 02, 2009 13:52">09/02/2009</span></p>

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  <a href="/notes/blog/46625/color-me-star-struck">Color Me Star-Struck</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message">Something pretty surreal happened to me last night at our Delaney's gig. We were in the final stages of our final set, when a drunken patron ambled up to the stage and said he'd pay me $50 if I let him get on stage to sing "Betterman," by Pearl Jam. <br><br>
No matter that we'd already played that song earlier. For $50, I'll let pretty much anybody have the stage, and I'll even sing backup. <br><br>
Well, I wasn't really prepared for just how horrible this rendition would be. Patrick and I struggled just to keep up with…<span class="read-more pdf__hide"><a href="/notes/blog/46625/color-me-star-struck">Read more</a></span></div>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2009-09-02T13:49:22-07:00" title="September 02, 2009 13:49">09/02/2009</span></p>

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  <a href="/notes/blog/46624/lyrical-pet-peeve">Lyrical Pet Peeve</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message"> Since when did the word "say" start rhyming with the word "me"? 

 
<p>I couldn't possibly start naming all the songs in which this relatively recent phenomenon--The Great Vowel Shift--occurs, as I would be here all night.</p>
<p>But just keep an ear out for it next time you're scanning the radio dial. The worst offenders&nbsp;will be your Eddie Vedder wannabes in the alternative rock genre.</p>
<p>Understand that I'm no stickler for poetry rules, necessarily. In fact, I don't even think all lyrics need to (or should) rhyme…</p>
 <span class="read-more pdf__hide"><a href="/notes/blog/46624/lyrical-pet-peeve">Read more</a></span></div>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2009-09-02T13:47:44-07:00" title="September 02, 2009 13:47">09/02/2009</span></p>

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  <a href="/notes/blog/46634/thoughts-on-9-11">Thoughts on 9/11</a>&nbsp;
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  <div class="message">(While this piece primarily represents my own views and experiences, I<br>
also cobbled it together with help from Garrison Keillor*,<br><a target="_blank" href="http://bushbacklash.com/">bushbacklash.com</a>**, Hal Crowther*** and other sources. Most of the<br>
words are my own, but I borrowed a few phrases from the aforementioned<br>
folks.)<br><br>
&nbsp; &nbsp;For my 21st birthday, I didn't get a party thrown in my honor. I<br>
didn't do any keg stands. Didn't down any kamikaze shots. No toasts.<br>
No drugs. No real nightcap, even. I think I drank a 40-ounze malt<br>
liquor beverage, and then I…<span class="read-more pdf__hide"><a href="/notes/blog/46634/thoughts-on-9-11">Read more</a></span></div>
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    <p class="post-info"><span data-time="2009-08-26T14:11:35-07:00" title="August 26, 2009 14:11">08/26/2009</span></p>

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